This morning, my two year old daughter came to me with her cup. She wanted chocolate milk (if chocolate milk were, say, whiskey, then my kid would be a stone cold drunk 24/7). I got everything out of the fridge. I poured the milk, put in the syrup, and screwed the lid onto her sippy cup. I looked at her and said, “OK, what do we need to do?” I was expecting her to say, “Shake it!”
Her response: “Pray.”
Nice. We thanked Jesus for the bounty and the joy that is chocolate milk. Amen to that.
This post will wrap up a two week blog series on selfishness. We’ve talked about causes of selfishness, ways to start overcoming selfishness (evaluating your life, repentance, changing your perspective, imitating Jesus). This post will look at three ways that we can actively combat selfishness (as opposed to feeling bad about it, talking about it, and then doing nothing about it). This post is a little long, so bear with me…
Live below your means…
Most of us live right at or above our means–we’re spending more than we’re making (and letting credit cards or loans carry us). To suggest that we live below our means sounds absolutely crazy, downright impossible, and outright un-American. Yet, look what living above our means does–it never makes us happy, it causes a ton of stress over debt, and it strains relationships… often shattering them. To borrow a line from the great American philosopher Adam Sandler, when it comes to living the American dream, “The price is wrong, bitch!” The price is too high–metaphorically and literally!
What if, instead, we made the decision to make the necessary sacrifices, pay off our debt, and live below our means… so that we have extra to give away? Yeah, you read that right: to give away. The idea of lowering our means so that we can raise the means of others is so biblical. All of us could do this: how much money do we waste on things like eating out, hobbies, premium cable, toys for our kids that they really don’t care about, toys for us that bring little lasting satisfaction, etc.? Here’s a personal example…
I keep track of my expenses and income on a simple Excel spreadsheet–I know what’s coming in, and what’s going out. I have a savings account for emergencies (big car repairs, doctor visits, etc.), so this spreadsheet accounts for each month’s basics. For the year, so far, I am in the hole $20.54 Not bad… until I look at my catch-all category (things that I don’t have another category for). I’m over that budget every month, big time. It has balanced itself out by the fact that some expenses are more fluid than others. Regardless, it shows a HUGE problem. I need to cut back on this spending. I need to get back to living below my means, putting a little more toward my debt (one school bill was just paid off, which frees up some to “snowball” to the other) and freeing up some to be more generous with. All of us can do this, if we’re willing to face reality, sacrifice, and start being generous with our means.
Redeem your relationships and your footprint…
Many of us say we have no time. Let’s be honest–we have just as much time as everyone else… we just have the wrong perspective. It’s not our time. It’s God’s time–and He tells us to live wisely and make the most of the time we have. Let’s give it back to Him and let Him dictate how we use it. And this may be simpler than we think (although it will require some big changes).
Many of us float through our days, giving little thought to the people we interact with and the places we go (little more than we have to work with them, talk with them, and mark the places to go off our to-do lists, or go there to decompress). What if we redeemed our relationships? What if we started intentionally looking at our relationships as opportunities to serve others–Christian or not? When someone needs some help–a simple office task, “team lifting” on the job site, or a real problem in their life–what if we become the first person in their life to show up and serve them? What if we look for opportunities to ambush the people in our lives with the love of God–from our families to our co-workers to our neighbors to our garbage men? This can be a great opportunity to be creative, innovative, and intentional in showing people the love of Jesus–both when they need it, and when they least expect it; whether they are Christians or not.
Think, too, about your “footprint”–the places you go. Your workplace, your “3rd place” (the place or places you like to go when you’re not at work or at home, like a coffee shop or a bar), etc. What if we redeemed those places, and took Jesus to them? What if we, when we went to these places, intentionally got to know the people there? What if we formed relationships with them and, when the opportunities present themselves, show them the love of Jesus? Check out this really cool story from Forefront Church in VA Beach, which took place during the first weeks of their bar campus (yeah, they did church in a bar… while the bar was open for business).
Or–and this is crazy, at least for some of you–what if we intentionally took Jesus to these places, started making disciples, and churches sprouted in them? I have a buddy in one of our churches that told us that he goes to a local bar once or twice a week. I looked at that church’s planter, smiled, looked back at this guy, and said, “You’re going to plant a church in…” His response? “That’s crazy! I know people there!” Exactly! Over the next several weeks, I’ve talked to him about it (and have assured him that he won’t be jumping up on the bar and preaching). When I explained to him how this could happen, his response was different: I could do that. In a couple of weeks, we’re going to go hang at this bar, and dream about what a church would look like in such an environment (and it’ll be much different than you think…).
When we start seeing people as Jesus did–as people He loves so much that He died for them, and that they’re broken by sin and by life–we cannot help but be changed, to start putting ourselves on the backburner… and thus combating selfishness.
Jump into your personal hell…
This is exactly what Jesus did on the cross–taking our sin on Himself and suffering our penalty in our place. It was the ultimate act of selflessness. For us, this one is the toughest, and the costliest way to combat selfishness. Think for a second–what would be your personal hell? To be homeless, to be unemployed, to be old, to be single or divorced, to be poor, something else? Whatever your hell is… it is these people you should look to serve, because there are people right now who are experiencing your personal hell, who need to be shown the love of Jesus.
Some of you have already experienced your personal hell, or are in it right now. Believe it or not, God can and wants to use your experiences and pain to serve others going through similar things. Who better to help an alcoholic face his demons than a recovering alcoholic who gave his sin to Jesus? Who better to comfort a woman who’s suffered a miscarriage than a follower of Jesus who has experienced that loss and pain before?
No matter what, we must confront our selfishness. If we’re serious about following Jesus, then we must get serious about letting Him empower us and taking personal responsibility to change. We (and this includes me) must move beyond talking and praying about it to doing something about it. As a friend of mine who has de-converted from Christianity once told me, “I’d come back if I ever saw someone actually living it out.” I wonder if he ever thought about what that statement would mean for himself? I know what it means for me, and what it means for you. We must start living it out.
Are you in?
Leave me some feedback on any of the above three things–or additional ones you think of. What will it take for you to do these things?
Last week, I started a series on selfishness. This week, we’ll look at how we can confront selfishness.
Imitate Jesus…
I was recently reading in the Bible in the book of Mark (one of the biographies of Jesus–the one that emphasizes Jesus’ actions), and I ran across this statement in Mark 3:20,
And He (Jesus) came home, and the multitude gathered again, to such an extent that they could not even eat a meal.
When you look at the surrounding context, Jesus was busy–healing the sick, casting out demons, serving others. For the most part, Jesus didn’t have to go out of his way to serve others (there were some exceptions, for example, the woman at the well in John 4, the crazy naked graveyard dude in the region of the Ten Cities). He served when opportunities arose, and many of those occasions weren’t what we would consider convenient. As we’ve already seen, sometimes Jesus missed meals. Undoubtedly, He missed some sleep. He missed out on “me” time (but He always found time to be with His Father).
Jesus, in His words, didn’t come to be served, but to serve.
Serving others embodies selflessness. Serving is often inconvenient. It interrupts our busy schedules. It’s bothersome. It’s often humbling. Read John 13:1-17, and you’ll see how humbling service can be. Back in Jesus’ day, people didn’t drive cars, motorcycles, or even bikes. They walked. Everywhere. With open-toed sandals. Or barefoot. On dirt roads. In other words, when the day was over, your feet were filthy. When you laid down to dinner (you didnt’ sit like we do–you reclined at a floor level table), your feet were close to other people’s heads. Dirty feet don’t exactly whet the appetite. A good host would have a child or a servant wash the feet of those who entered their home. It wasn’t a job that just anyone would do. It was dirty and demeaning. Yet, Jesus did it–and did it on the night before His death, when He was undoubtedly stressed out about the events to come, when He probably didn’t feel like serving.
And He expects us to imitate Him–to serve others in ways that are often inconvenient, interruptive, and often humbling.
I’m failing. As I write this, I realize how much I’m woefully failing at this. I like “me” time. What I do is often mentally taxing. It leaves me worn out sometimes. And I’ve allowed it to become an excuse for not serving others like Jesus did. I’ve made progress in recent years, but I’m not content with that… for the simple reason that I love Jesus and I want to be like Him. If I’m really serious about that, then I need to break out of my suburban, middle-class shell. I need to get uncomfortable. I need to get inconvenienced. I need to sacrifice. I need to be humbled. I need to imitate Jesus.
Chances are, so do you.
Leave some feedback–what will it take for you to break out of your mold and imitate Jesus?
Tomorrow, we’ll wrap this series by looking at some practical ways that we can overcome selfishness.
“Justice is what love looks like in public.”
Just heard that. Had to share it. What does our love for others look like in public?
Last week, I started a series on selfishness. This week, we’ll look at how we can confront selfishness.
Change Your Perspective…
I just read a really good post about hyperreality–something which is plaguing our culture and killing the faith of many. Hyperreality means that we can have things that are better than the real thing. For example, pick up any grocery store check out aisle magazine that isn’t a tabloid. They always have killer photos of celebrities with perfect skin, perfect bodies, and perfect clothes. The reality is that there’s more Photoshop in those photos than reality–they’ve been airbrushed, cropped, and corrected in dozens of ways. And so many women wonder why they can’t look like that. The truth is, the celebrities probably wonder why they can’t look like that! Our hyperreal culture feeds our consumerism, which bleeds into every aspect of life, including church. The result–we’ve become selfish, and we’re selfish for things that are a bit beyond reality.
We need to change our perspective. We need a shift in our worldview.
Look at what the Bible says in 1 John 2:15-17,
Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. And the world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God abides forever.
Why are we selfish? Because we can’t see past the nose on our faces. We don’t look down the road further than what we’re going to eat at our next meal, or the vacation that’s coming in a few weeks or months. We’ve fallen in love with the temporary; we’ve lost sight of the eternal.
Think about it. In 100 years, there will be all new people. None of us (save a few newborns) that are here now will be here in 100 years. No one will remember you (unless you discover the key to harnessing nuclear fusion in a way that benefits the earth and doesn’t melt it in a huge fireball). Your home, that you work long hours to pay for will be lived in by someone else–they will change your home’s color scheme, they will change your landscaping, they may even knock it down. Your car, in 100 years, will have sat in the scrap yard for at least 90 of those years. Your job–someone else will be doing it… maybe. All of the stuff that we put so much importance on–the material things, finances, notoriety among our peers, and on and on and on… it will not matter in 100 years. So why do we put so much worry and stress on it now? Why do we push God out of the way and focus so much on ourselves?
Because we love the world.
Evaluation shows us our selfishness. Repentance is the first step to confronting it. Changing our perspective is key to real, practical action. If we do not change our perspective and start focusing on the eternal, we’ll quickly fall right back into the cycle of selfishness. This change, however, must go beyond a mental change of mind. It must be lived out. We must change our perspective and start doing the will of God.
More on that tomorrow…
Leave some feedback: be absolutely honest… what is your perspective–on the temporary, or on the eternal? How will you need to change it?
Last week, I started a series on selfishness. This week, we’ll look at how we can confront selfishness.
Evaluate and repent…
Escape from selfish cannot happen until we get to the place in our lives where we know we must change… and are willing to change. The Bible tells of two different men who had two completely different reactions to Jesus. Both were rich. Both were selfish. Both responded differently. You can find their stories in Luke 18:18-19:10.
The first was a nameless rich guy. He asked Jesus what he had to do to inherit eternal life (inheritance probably meant a lot to this guy–he was wealthy). Jesus told him, “You know the commandments–don’t commit adultury, don’t murder, don’t steal, don’t bear false witness, honor your father and mother.” Notice He left out several of the ten commandments–don’t covet, honor the Sabbath, no other gods but God, no graven images. I’m not sure, but it looks like Jesus purposefully did not mention those things to see what this dude’s reaction would be. His things were his god, he didn’t honor God by resting on the Sabbath to focus on Him, and he coveted what he saw. Anyway, this dude gets excited–I’ve always done these things! Jesus then lowers the boom–go sell everything you have, give the money to the poor, and follow me. Instant gut check… and the guy walks away, sad because he owned so much property. He evaluated his life on the spot, and the price of following Jesus was too high.
Later, in Luke 19, Jesus encounters a really selfish guy named Zaccheus. He was a chief tax-collector–he oversaw other tax collectors. Tax collectors were some of the most despised people in 1st century Israel because they worked for the Romans, collecting taxes and charging enourmous fees, by which they got rich. It’s been said that Jewish citizens paid nearly 90% of their income in taxes. No wonder these dudes were hated! Zaccheus’ encounter with Jesus was much different–he evaluated his life and repented. He pledged to give away half of everything to the poor and refund those he defrauded with a ton of interest. The result: Jesus said that salvation had come to Zaccheus.
Each of us falls into the same category as one of these guys when it comes to selfishness. We’re called to evaluate our lives. Some of us will be like the nameless dude–the price is too high. We like our luxury, comfort, and security, even when it comes to our relationship with God. We don’t want to take risks, we don’t want to change. Others of us will be like Zaccheus–the price is high, but we’ll pay it. We’ll evaluate our lives, and we’ll repent fully–more than just mumbling “I’m sorry” to God. We’ll pursue ways to be selfless and generous (which will appear in this week’s posts).
Which dude’s example will we follow?
Last week, I started a series on selfishness. This week, we’ll look at how we can confront selfishness.
Well, the rest of the week we’ll look at what to do. Today, we look at what not to do.
Ignore it…
Ignoring problems is a really popular way of dealing with problems in our culture. For some reason, we think that if we ignore something, it will magically disappear. We believe that if we don’t deal with it, it will go away or someone else will pick up the slack.
In his book Crazy Love, author Francis Chan says that many people try to tell God how to act. They ask questions like, “Why do You allow so much hunger and suffering in the world?” He then flips the coin–God is the one asking us, “Why do you allow so much hunger and suffering in the world?” The same can be said for our selfishness. We can ignore it all we want, and we can pray about it all we want… but God has given us responsibility in overcoming it. We can’t just sit back, relax, and expect God to zap our selfishness away. We cannot ignore it. We must act.
Running away from it…
When it comes to selfishness and church, I’ve heard people talk about their own selfishness–they know it needs to change. Their proposed solution? Leaving their current church and going to another. Think about that for a second… in most cases (and rare is the exception), that is the ultimate form of selfishness. When people leave churches to find another one that they’ll like more, they’re abandoning their family–like a deadbeat dad who walks out on his wife and kids to chase another skirt. A change of venue is rarely if ever the solution, and when it comes to selfishness, it only compounds the problem. We expect more magic–a change of churches will magically change us into a less selfish person… by giving me more of what I want. We can’t fight selfishness with selfishness.
Doing nothing about it…
Some people know they are selfish… and just don’t care. They don’t ignore it or run away from it. They either indulge it or simply accept it (”That’s just the way I am.”). Maybe so, but it isn’t the way God intends for you to be. Jesus didn’t die a brutal, horrifying death on the cross so that we could only escape the penalty for sin. He died so that we could escape the penalty of sin and be cured of the sickness of sin. The easiest way for someone to guarantee an eternity separated from God in hell is to do nothing.
Jesus once told a parable about a farmer who went out and sowed seed. He threw out some seed, and it landed on a path–it never took root, and the birds ate it; other seed fell on rocky soil–it sprouted, but died because it could get no nutrients; other seed fell on weed infested soil–it sprouted, but was choked out by the weeds; other seed feel on good soil–it sprouted and produced a huge harvest. When His disciples asked what the parable meant, Jesus explained it: the seed is the truth of the gospel. The path represents those who never accept the gospel, and the enemy (Satan) succeeds in keeping them from responding. The rocky soil represents those who receive the gospel, but when the gospel bring oppression and persecution, they fall away. The weed and thorn filled soil represents those who receive the gospel, but the cares of the world choke out the gospel. The good soil represents those who receive the gospel and are transformed by it, reeping a great spiritual harvest.
As Francis Chan says in Crazy Love, we cannot assume that we are good soil. Selfishness betrays the fact that we are, in fact, weed and thorn infested soil. We need some spiritual Round-Up.
So leave some feedback–do you deal with selfishness in ways you shouldn’t? If so, how?
Tomorrow, we’ll start looking at ways we can fight selfishness and become good soil.
Recently, someone in my microchurch admitted they were selfish and didn’t know how to break out of it. Selfishness is more widespread than we believe…
This week, we’ve looked at how selfishness shows up in our culture, our busyness, and our problems.
Let’s take a break and reflect on the grace of God.
We must admit that selfishness is a huge weakness–a sinful weakness. At the very core of selfishness is sin. Selfishness is a form of self-idolatry. When we’re selfish, we worship self over God.
Thank God for grace.
Jesus’ death and resurrection are more than enough to forgive us of our selfishness. They’re also more than enough to break the chains of selfishness that bind us and keep us from living the life Jesus has called us to live: a counter-cultural life that oozes sacrificial love, that thinks of self last, that puts our wants and desires on the back burner, that takes advantage of opportunities to reflect and imitate Jesus, that involves taking big risks with our faith, that redeems our time and places we find ourselves. God’s grace is more than enough to forgive us, restore us, transform us, and inspire us to live the Jesus life–a selfless life.
On Monday, we’ll get practical, looking at ways to break the chains of selflessness.
Recently, someone in my microchurch admitted they were selfish and didn’t know how to break out of it. Selfishness is more widespread than we believe…
Selfishness not only shows up in things like materialism and busyness. It shows up when we have problems of our own to deal with. All of us have our own emotional, mental, physical, relational, financial, and other types of junk that we deal with–the problems in life that result in worry, stress, anxiety, depression, etc. Our problems often lead to selfishness. Before you go all postal on me, follow me here…
Our problems are real. We all have things that we’re dealing with. Some are more serious than others. The tragic, unexpected death of a close family member or friend is a serious problem that has relational, emotional, mental, and often financial repercussions. It certainly ranks higher on the stress-o-meter than, say, a flat tire. We all have problems, some more serious than others. But problems can reveal different facets of selfishness.
God can use our pain and problems to serve others and bring glory to Jesus. But to do it, we have to open up about them, be honest about them, and seek out help when needed (whether its just someone to listen or professional help). Our pain–our weaknesses–are often our greatest channel to pour out the love of Jesus to others.
Leave some feedback: how do you honestly react to your problems–do you think you have it worse than others, do you try to handle it yourself, do you ignore them, something else? What will it take for you to get to the point where you allow God to use your pain to serve others?
Tomorrow, we’ll do an “intermission” of sorts, and hit up some practical ways that we can combat selfishness in our lives and be transformed into a selfless community that serves the world.
Recently, someone in my microchurch admitted they were selfish and didn’t know how to break out of it. Selfishness is more widespread than we believe…
Yesterday’s post dealt with selfishness that is the result of being sucked into our consumeristic culture. Today’s post is related, but from a different angle…
Our busyness.
Many of us are so busy that we may feel like we’re “running around like a chicken with its head cut off.” As a rule, chickens that have their heads cut off run around for a little while and then drop dead (there have been very rare exceptions). Our lives, if we’re not careful, can end up like that–we’ll run around like crazy for a little while, and then drop dead. We’ll have been very busy, but will our busyness have any real purpose or meaning?
Most of it will not.
Our culture encourages busyness. We want to be “productive.” Unfortunately, we’ve equated busyness with productivity. Even worse, we’ve equated busyness with significance. We pack our schedules so tightly with work, kid’s activities, activities for self–the list goes on and on. What ends up happening? We have no time for stuff that really matters.
There are some things we cannot help. Our jobs are one of those areas. We have to work, and usually the hours our boss gives us. Some of us have jobs that, when quittin’ time comes, we can leave at work. Some of us do not–we have paperwork that has to get done at home, etc.
There are some areas we can help. Some of us with kids have them scheduled for a ton of activities, and most of our evenings are consumed with them. Yeah, we want our kids to be well rounded, but by having them do piano, karate, soccer, and scouts, aren’t we teaching them that busyness equals significance (aside from the fact that they’ll be a jack of many trades, but master of none)?
Think about this: we’re very good at compartmentalizing our lives. We have work, home, church, activities, etc. Each area consumes a slice of life, like a pie chart. Many of us who follow Jesus see the idea of “serving others” as another compartment of life… something else to add to the schedule. And what happens? We don’t have time. We’re… so… busy.
Yesterday’s post mentioned a story Jesus told about a rich dude who was very busy. He was a farmer–and farming is a busy occupation. He built his wealth up through busyness on the job. He had a huge surplus… which he kept for himself. The result–he lost his life because he wasn’t rich toward God. Our busyness is often (not always, but often) related to us–our wants, our needs, our desires. Everyone else, God included, gets pushed out of the picture.
What would it look like if we “redeemed our time”? First, what are the areas of our life that we can simplify? We may not be able to cut our work hours (some of us could), but what other areas of life can we simplify so that our schedules are less crowded? Second, what would it look like if we allowed God to change our attitudes, perspectives, and lives to the point that we don’t add a compartment for serving others like Jesus did, but see the things we do–the job, the activities, etc.–as mission fields, channels to express and pour out God’s love? What if we were always looking for opportunities to ambush people with God’s love in the midst of our lives instead of in addition to them.
To simplify it: what if we actually started living life as God intended, imitating Jesus?
Leave some feedback: what areas of your life are you busy, but not productive; busy, but not significant? What needs to be done in order to redeem your time?
Tomorrow, we’ll look at how our own problems actually increase our selfishness.
