For several years, my wife and kids watched “Jon and Kate Plus Eight.” I couldn’t stand it. But last night, we watched the worst-kept secret in showbiz as they announced their separation (although news of their filing of divorce broke several hours before the show aired).
All we heard was this: kids, kids, kids, kids, kids.
The show is for the kids. The house is for the kids. Kate’s flying around the country doing book tours with the volcano hairdo was for the kids. Jon quitting his job to be a stay-at-home dad was for the kids. They kept saying, over and over, that they wanted to do what’s best for their kids.
When you put your kids first ahead of your marriage, you’re not doing what’s best for your kids.
Not once did they mention their marriage. Everything was about the kids. Neither took personal responsibility for what happened. They denied the show, or the extensive traveling, or Jon essentially being emasculated from his role as provider had anything to do with the breakdown of their marriage. It’s so sad. What’s even sadder is that they’re not alone.
Married folks, we need to put our marriages ahead of our parenting (even if you consider it priority 2A and 2B… because Jesus must be priority 1). Our children need us to model what a good marriage is. They need to see us communicate. They need to see (within reason) a little PDA. They need to see us disagree and make up.
The best thing for our kids is for us to honor “for better or for worse.” Unfortunately, too many bail when they discover marriage isn’t “for better or for better.” And then everyone, kids and adults, suffers.